Friday, August 5, 2011

A Blog About Nothing

  I feel like I'm waiting for something. Something to happen. Someone to call. Something to give me a sign. Just something, anything. They always say that when one door closes, a window opens, or that once you stop looking, you find exactly what you've been searching for. Well, if all that mumbo-jumbo is true, then this "something" should have happened months ago! How much can I trust in this feeling of utter nothing-ness in my life currently? How do I keep the faith when I feel as though I have nothing to put my faith in to? Like the door that closed locked me in a room with no windows? It feels as if I'm waiting for, well, nothing.

  I'm quite certain that people of all ages and professions have overcome this conundrum at some point in their lives. They were waiting for something to present itself to them or for some kind of sign. I guess I'm waiting for an affirmation that I am on the right path and that this "something" is waiting for me just up the road, but I have to keep forging ahead to get to it no matter how hard the rain is beating down. I have to remain persistent on the path that I struggled so hard to pave for myself even though I can't even see three feet in front of me.

  I'm starting to fear that there is no "something" waiting just ahead for me, though, and that scares the crap out of me. Or that my "something" is on a different path than the one I'm on. Maybe I made a wrong turn miles ago and at this point it would be useless to turn around and figure out where my mental GPS led me astray.

  My entire life I've had something to look forward to, whether it was a trip somewhere or someone coming to visit or even my clean laundry. It's frightening when you have nothing to look forward to other than your morning bowl of oatmeal with cinnamon sprinkled on top. Yum. Most mornings I wake up and say to myself, "What am I going to do today?" Which is exciting.

  So in conclusion, I have to I have to know that my "something" is still waiting for me. I have to know it in my gut and in my heart and in all of the love and support that comes from those surrounding me. I am so grateful for so many wonderful things and people in my life who without I wouldn't have even had the concrete to pour my path with! This is isn't a blog about nothing. It's a blog about my "something".

1 comment:

  1. It IS coming!!!!!!!!! And at the same time " it" is already here! Just keep swimmin!!! I love you and believe in YOU!